Supporting Yourself Through Anxiety

Distressing to De-Stressing

By Kaz Louden – Olive Therapies

When we aim for mastery over our anxiety we first need to step away from being reactive or resistant. We need to bring ourselves toward anxiety and fear. Facing it takes courage and it also takes the power away from the anxiety and brings the power and control back to ourselves.

THE 3 STEPS

• Grounding
• Recognising, Inquiring
• Nurturing

Fight, Flight or Freeze

Under stress and pressure, we can find ourselves in constant judegment of others and ourselves. The ‘fight’ comes out in aggression and passive aggression and criticism.

Flight shows up escaping our anxiety by using substances, overworking, feeling overtired all the time, spending a lot of time online to avoid reality, and obsessive thinking.

Others may experience a freeze response which is often associated with trauma. While some may experience feeling stuck, confused or unable to make decisions.

‘Fight, Flight or Freeze is a reactive position and is avoidant of being present in your mind and body. This leaves you very limited, narrow and restrictive‘.

Grounding Self

The First Step – Finding the Calm

Before you can address the anxiety, you first need to find your window of tolerance (Dan Seigal explains this term). Bringing yourself back to a calming state is vital before you can be with and be free from the anxiety.

Grounding techniques include:

• Avoid triggers!
• Regulate your breathing – take a deep breath counting to 5 on the inhale and 5 on the exhale.
• Feel your feet on the earth
• Notice what is around you – sounds, air on your face etc.
• Touch objects around you – name the objects such as “here is the book, I am now holding a pen etc”
• Rub your hands together – notice the friction and heat from your hands.
• Affirmations such as “I am safe, all is well”.

Recognising, Inquiring

Step 2 – Bringing awareness into the space

It is best to start this step with an intention. You could hold the intention within yourself that you are now ready to look at the anxiety and help it pass through.

Recognising the anxiety is simply noticing that it has arrived. Use a curious mind to see and inquire where the anxiety is in your body.

By naming it, you are disarming it from causing so much fear in your body. Allow the anxiety to be there while you are noticing where it is in your body. By doing so you are waking up the connection with the mind and body.

You can now get a sense of what the fear needs from you.

Self-Nurture

Step 3. Bringing in loving kindness

Showing yourself care and love will not only reduce the stress and panic but will also bring about a new awareness and sense of freedom from the control that the anxiety has had over you.

Any care that you give yourself IS self-nurturing. Some find it useful to thank that fear for looking out for you and trying to protect you. You could also place a hand over your heart and tell yourself you are so so loved and reassure yourself that you are going to be ok.

‘Now notice how much more expanded you feel and allow yourself to be with this new stillness’

Follow the Breath Meditation

• Close your eyes and take your attention inward.
• Take a few breaths. Count 5 on the inhale and 5 on the exhale.
• Notice the air enter your nose, and follow it to your chest.
• Notice the air exhale from your body and out of your nose.
• This moment is for you – this is where you can attend to your own soul.
• Notice any tension in your body. Don’t force anything here. Just see where the tension lives.
• Ask your soul, ‘what does this feeling of anxiety or tension or fear need from me right now?’
• Begin to offer it what is needed.
• You are held in love. You are not alone xxx